Lesson 28: Learning to say no

It may have been your first word as a young child and you probably had no issues with telling people no

playing yes.jpg
Wanna stop playing now? No…

There was no hesitation in spewing out the two letter word but as you grew up and the years rolled by, we were taught that saying no, just wasn’t nice. So, you guessed it, we started saying yes to most things. Now here we are, an army of people pleasers and a crowd of wishful thinkers.

working yes.jpeg
Can you work overtime?
Sure, yes…

Like anything in life, there’s a balance to aim for. I’m a big advocate for saying yes however as I get older, I’m also a huge advocate for saying no. Here are just a few things you can learn from saying no:

Not every opportunity is your opportunity

For many years, I would put my own projects on the back burner because I prioritised other projects. Plus, I wanted to make people happy. They showered me with compliments, enjoyed my work and now, they asked me to handle a project I just wasn’t passionate about. It’s the least I can do and even though they’re severely underpaying me and wasting a lot of my time, I’m sure this will be a great reference later on, right?

opportunity.jpeg

Er, wrong! 

If I’ve learnt one thing from working as a freelancer, it’s that not every opportunity is your opportunity. Never underestimate or overlook the opportunities you are passionate about. Whether, that’s working for a brand you admire or snowballing an idea you have in your head, it is your right to yes to those and no to the ones that aren’t for you. (And that’s no matter how much they guilt trip or compliment). Be nice but say no. 

Your time is the strongest currency you have 

By saying no to people and situations, you can free up a whole lot of time to do the things you want to do. 

I’m an old soul at heart and for a long time, I would say yes to partying all night, to please my friends, despite the fact I yearned for my bed the whole night. After a while, I realised that I accommodated these people for far too long.

partying 28.jpegMy time became their time and soon, they would cancel and reschedule several times when I wanted to do something. This is because I devalued my time and of course, they did to. I realised that this wasn’t their fault, it was mine. I had to start saying no.

coffee 28

This is probably the most empowering skill you can learn in life. And little side note, what you want to spend your time on is your own business, don’t feel stupid because someone else tells you that it’s not good enough. You get to decide that

Reduce stress

Stress is a killer and saying yes can sometimes add fuel to your surging cortisol levels. I remember someone at my old workplace asking me if I could help them with a project she was working on. She looked so stressed and on the verge of tears, that I thought God, Himself, would strike me down if I said no. So, I said yes…

stress.jpeg

After helping her for almost a month, I realised why she was so stressed. She didn’t do any work and as the resident mug (idiot), I couldn’t see how I had enabled her dubious ways. I became stressed and she started to relax. Different parts of my life started to suffer and I didn’t know how I could back out after I had invested so much. 

After finishing her work, she plonked her name on the paper and got a promotion. This was the day the lightbulb moment went off. 

lightbulb.jpeg

I decided that I’d no longer allow someone to con me into saying yes, when my gut told me to say no. 

What have you learnt from saying no? 

Let me know in the comments, or not 🙂 remember, it’s your choice.

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3 thoughts on “Lesson 28: Learning to say no

  1. I still find it difficult to say no to people. I think perhaps as you get older, you start to value your time more (especially if you have very little time to yourself anyway) – so are much more likely to say no to things people want you to do, or places they want you to go.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I instantly feel guilty when I say no to people I like, especially when it comes to work and when they mean no harm but I think I care less and less nowadays. I don’t have the time to cat sit when I’d rather cat nap hahaha

      Like

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